Mom Was 'Old School'

It was a really cool experience for a six year old. I learned it from a neighborhood friend. Walk around the yard until you find a honey bee on a white clover flower. Gently reach down and pick up the bee in the palm of your hand. Close your fingers, but not too tightly, and you can feel it walking around. Open your hand and watch it fly away.

I successfully performed this act of wonder several times before I picked up the wrong bee and held it in the wrong way. Sure enough, it stung me, which sent me home whining to Mom. I was in pain and needed some serious sympathy. Mom did not give me the response I expected or wanted. Mom was old school. As she tended the injury, she sternly informed me, “If you would have left the bee alone and not picked it up it wouldn’t have stung you. Now that bee is going to die because of what you did. It won’t be able to go back to its family and the family is going to be upset.” (I think she just added the family thing to drive home the point.) She definitely wanted me to know that my actions had consequences.

Mom realized that the little stings in life can help prepare a person to avoid the big ones. Some times you win, sometimes you lose. It can hurt to lose. You may win the trophy or may not but not everyone earns one. Work harder if you want to be the winner. Sometimes you fall down; so learn to get back up. Much of what is done in the name of self-esteem is done at the expense of self-respect. Also, there is a price paid for bad decisions. Develop the wisdom to make the right decisions. The little bee sting teaches you not to pick up bees.

Many parents today over protect their children from these little stings. Some would want to launch a campaign to eliminate the bee population. Others would try to sue the seed company responsible for the clover, the neighbors if the bees were in their yard, and the school system for not teaching more about bee safety. By doing so, the child fails to learn to take responsibility for his/her behavior. With good intentions many parents are setting their children up to suffer from much more grievous stings.