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Introverts and Extroverts in a Church Dynamic By
This series of articles is designed to help the reader reflect upon who they are as a person, why they are who they are, and how their personality impacts upon their relationship to others.
A visitor enters a friendly, growing evangelical church. He/she is welcomed with a handshake and a smile by the greeters and several members. Some members inquire, “Is this your first time here? Do you live in the area? Where do you work at? Do you have any children?” (For some reason they stopped asking me that question years ago.) During the “worship service” a praise team, accompanied by a multitude of musical instruments, leads several rousing choruses. At one point the team’s leader invites everyone to shake several hands and to “especially make visitors welcome.” The visitor is shocked by the number a people who take notice of his/her presence. He/she is asked again several personal questions by the hand-shaking congregants. When the announcements are made the visitor learns that there is an upcoming Sweetheart Banquet sponsored by the Dorcas Circle and everyone is welcome to attend. “The sign-up sheet is located in the lobby.” To the amusement of the congregation, they are informed that everyone attending the banquet will have an opportunity to share how they met their special sweetheart. After the message and closing song, several members approach the visitor and invite him/her to stay for Sunday School class. The seats in the class are arranged in a circle and the teacher leads in the discussion. He goes around the room giving each attendee the opportunity to “share.” After class the visitor is invited back and reminded that he/she should sign up for the Sweetheart Banquet. All of these efforts are well-intended. There is, in most cases, the desire to make people feel welcome and to fit in. For most extroverts, the experience has been uplifting. They have already signed up for the banquet and they can’t wait to become more involved. For many introverts, they cannot wait to leave the building and have some quiet time. The sensory input was somewhat overwhelming and the people a little too intrusive. The extrovert will most likely fit in with the group should he/she attend regularly. If the introvert continues to attend, he/she may be perceived as being unfriendly, shy, or arrogant. Some well-meaning members will try to “cure” the introvert of his/her malady, repeatedly inviting them to social functions insuring them that they will “have fun.” Sometimes, because of the introvert’s personality, they are simply ignored. On the other hand if an extrovert visits a congregation that does not show any interest in them they are unlikely to become involved in any capacity. Interestingly enough, the same congregation that barely greets a visitor is not inviting to an introvert either. Introverts want to know that people care. They just don’t want to be overwhelmed by them. The problem of addressing the needs of both introverts and extroverts may be best summed up by quoting from the movie, Cool Hand Luke, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.” Churches in general and, specifically, church leaders need to realize that Jesus was the perfect extrovert and the perfect introvert. Through proper teaching in the church, the congregation can benefit from individuals of all personality types. If we accept that there is a ministry for every believer then it is the responsibility of the church leadership to establish opportunities of service for each member of the Body. It is important also to know that introverts may participate in the worship service differently than the extrovert. Extroverts may respond with a hearty, “Amen,” during the song service and the chance to tell five people that they love Jesus. The introvert, on the other hand, may benefit more from the meditation during the communion time and find the message a great opportunity to reflect on their personal lives. They will, though, find that “Jesus hugs” are a little much and way outside of their comfort zone. Leadership must realize that introverts in the church do love Jesus but are more reserved in their expression of that love. Leadership must also know that introverts are not content to sit on the sidelines. Many introverts make great leaders and effective teachers as do many extroverts. Rather than forcing a round peg into a square hole, the church is better served by finding the round hole that fits the peg. There is a place for every member of the church to serve the Lord. In the next article we will examine introverts and extroverts in both a business setting and school setting. |