Let's Party!

By
David A. Berresford

This series of articles is designed to help the reader reflect upon who they are as a person, why they are who they are,

and how their personality impacts upon their relationship to others.

Introverts and extroverts may look at the world around them very differently. This is especially true when considering their interaction with other people.

In this article and subsequent ones we will examine the differences between introverts and extroverts and how these differences affect schools, churches, and businesses. If you detect a bias on my part, you will be correct. I am an introvert and have spent much of my life enduring extroverts who have tried to “cure” me. These ineffective efforts began in my early childhood with my parents telling me, “Go to the birthday party. You’ll have fun.” I thought, “Not so much.” Sunday school teachers and church youth leaders did their best to save me from my malady. The efforts continue today as friends and associates do their best to try to help me. Fortunately, my wife understands. Although to a lesser degree, she too is an introvert.

It wasn’t until recent years that I was able to put a name to my condition. I was always aware of the symptoms. I also thought that there were few others who could identify with my plight. There are no self-help groups for introverts. There is no IA (Introverts Anonymous) with a multi-tiered program to help us adjust. I was shocked when I discovered that Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Bill Gates, and comedian, Steve Martin were or are introverts. I guess that puts me in pretty good company.

Regardless of the greatness of some of our kind, introverts are in the minority in western civilization. Approximately 25% of the population falls into this category. We are, however, blessed in that 60% of identified gifted students are introverts. Comparatively, less than 30% of the general population are so identified. Now, am I part of the 60% that is 25% of the 100% compared to the 30%...? Never mind. Now I’m beginning to sound like some politicians and other public figures, “It’s all about me.” It’s more important for all of us to see where we fit into the spectrum and how this knowledge helps us better communicate with all those around us.

A Comparison between Introverts and Extroverts

Please note that people have both introversion and extroversion in their personalities and so are not limited either to the inner world or the outer world. Extroverts and introverts differ in:

1. The way they get energy
Extroverts receive energy from external stimulus – introverts from
the inner thought world. Even if introverts perform well in social
settings, they are often tired by people and need time to recuperate. For example, an extrovert generally loves to go to a party and interact with as many people as possible. They receive energy from this interaction. An introvert will attend, interact with several people upon arrival, but will soon be with one or two individuals communicating on a specific topic. The party will drain the introvert and they will need some alone time afterwards.

2. The way they respond to stimulus
Extroverts thrive in environments that provide multisensory
stimulation. Introverts have a busy inner world and can be easily overwhelmed by external stimulation. They are usually reserved and generally prefer quiet environments. Reserve should not be perceived as arrogance or even shyness.

3. Their approach to knowledge and experience
Extroverts like to absorb as much as they can from their
environment – they crave variety and breath. Introverts prefer depth; they invest their energy in select areas. They may be
careful about choosing activities and may be hesitant to offer their
feelings or ideas. Sharing in small group settings ranks with root canal for many introverts


A major difference is that extroverts have a single layered personality; they tend to be the same in public and in private whereas introverts have a public self and a private self.

Society, parents, church leaders, and teachers do try to turn introverts into extroverts. However, they need to understand that there are no right or wrong ways of functioning but simply differences. Introversion is perfectly normal and does not need “curing”.

In the next articles we will look more closely at the effect of introvert and extrovert personality traits on work, school, and church relationships.

(Much of the above information can be credited to Leslie Sword, a true expert in this area.)

Traits of Introverts

Are territorial – desire private space and time
Are happy to be alone – they can be lonely in a crowd
Become drained around large groups of people – dislike attending parties
Need time alone to recharge
Prefer to work on own rather than with a group
Act cautiously in meeting people
Are reserved, quiet, and deliberate
Do not enjoy being the center of attention
Do not share private thought with many people
Form a few deep attachments
Think carefully before speaking
See reflection as very important
Concentrate deeply and well
Become absorbed in thoughts and ideas
Limit their interests but explore deeply
Communicate best one-on-one
Get agitated or irritated without enough time alone
Select activities carefully and thoughtfully

(From the Virginia Association for the Gifted Newsletter, Fall 1999)